I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
