you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
