I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
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