Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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