Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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