She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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