her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
