we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
