youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
no. you can't hotbox the world.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
