Having a random hookup so left but love u
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
