kristin has been a bad kristin
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
