Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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