I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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