sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
