his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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