dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
