I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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