Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I intend to get homeless drunk
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
