Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
