I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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