i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
