I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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