VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize