i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
