Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize