Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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