I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
