R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
