So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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