New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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