Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
