brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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