is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize