He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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