yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
