I'm going to jail i love you
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize