Just cropdusted the office
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
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