sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
third nipple confirmed
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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