You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
