yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
