You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
