I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
