i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
