In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
