That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
