She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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