It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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