So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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