I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
