peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
