What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
