it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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