tell your sister to shave her snatch
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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