Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
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