all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
