No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
