shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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