Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
