i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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